You Don't Have to Do It All Alone. Learn To Ask For Help
The world has never been as interdependent as it is today. This is because of the fact that human beings in the modern era have realized that if they want to succeed as one race they have to work together. Whether it is an individual or an entire state, everyone needs help and support at some moment in time. Every Sherlock has a Dr. Watson and every superhero has a sidekick. So if you think you can succeed in your ambitions all alone, think again! You need to realize and accept that it is not bad to ask for help. So you should learn to ask for help and you should never shy away from it.
Why Asking For Help Is Important
Helping each other cannot only make you feel good, it can also help to improve your relationship with each other. This is called the Benjamin Franklin effect. The Benjamin Franklin effect refers to a mental stigma that makes people like someone more than they did just because the other person did something for them. Asking for help doesn’t mean that you are weak. A CEO always needs competitive and skillful people working underneath him/her. That does not make the CEO any weaker. In fact, when you ask someone for help, it shows that you are sensible enough to judge that they are the best person to ask for help in that particular task. We are living in a fast-moving world, and certain consequences may cause you to get busy and make it completely impossible for you to focus on the task at hand.
Healthy Relationships Demand Help and Support
Healthy relationships are all about helping and supporting each other in all aspects of life. However, your past experiences may shape up your personality and you might feel that if you ask someone for help then it gives them a chance to manipulate you. This is not at all true. The thing about manipulation comes from past experiences and it relates to the other person and not the ‘help’ itself. If the other person is manipulative then they will always manipulate no matter if they helped you or not. So you shouldn’t stop asking for help just because you feel that you will be manipulated. If you are in a healthy relationship then you would know that supporting each other isn’t just important it is a necessary part of the relationship.
Don’t Let the ‘Helping’ Chain Stop
If you have asked someone for help then you should also be ready to help them in return as well. You should also be ready to help anyone who asks for help. Don’t let the chain stop. If someone helps you, you can help other people and they can further help other people. So this can create an amazing chain of generous support and help.
Klaver’s 7 Step Approach to Asking for Help
M. Nora Klaver is a famed author who has authored multiple books on helping others. She has introduced a 7 step approach to asking for help.
1. Name The Need- Identify your need for help and think about it in detail. Your first guess may not be the right one so give it great and detailed thought.
2. Give Yourself A Break- You should believe that you actually need and deserve help.
3. Take A Leap- You should be ready to take a leap for the help you want.
4. Ask For Help- Once you have gone through the first three steps, you are now ready to ask for help. Before you ask for help you should first come up with a list of people who can help you with your particular request. Don’t shy away from including people you think will say NO. You’ll never know if you don’t try.
5. Be Grateful- Never lose hope and never feel bad if someone doesn’t help you. Everyone is fighting their own battles but be grateful for the people who come forward and help you out. Be gracious to everyone even the people who don’t help you.
6. Listen differently- Observe the responses very carefully. Don’t just focus on the words but also the way people respond to your request for help? Try to read between the lines and identify the emotional messages you receive with your replies.
7. Follow The Three Thanks Rule- The seventh and last step is to show your gratitude by saying Thank you. One thank you can go a long way. You should follow the three thanks rule so say the first thank you when the other person agrees to help you, the second thank you when the help has been done and your need has been met. The third and final thank you should come when you next meet your helper.
Asking for help can sometimes be very difficult especially if you have never asked for help from anyone before. However, you should know that we all face times in life when it is completely impossible to go on without taking proper help from relevant people. The above steps can make it easy for you to ask for help.